life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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