why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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