Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
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