Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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