We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
