what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hippo gnu deer
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
