You can't motorboat a personality
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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