Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
