Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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