Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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