I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
