I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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