Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
