my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
