I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
