I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
