There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
