Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It's shark week go big or go home
I want to fling myself into the sun
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
