Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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