Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
