Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
