Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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