when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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