I want to walk on stilts...naked
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
