Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
