Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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