he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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