He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
only if we run a train.
done.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Couch. On fire.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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