i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
