You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Randomize
