Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
