Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
