ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
