my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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