whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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