ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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