How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
