ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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