I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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