she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
And then he peed in my hair
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