Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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