hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
