Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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