I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
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