Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
