dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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