I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize