i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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