the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
