there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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