My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
