Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
