It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
This house was built for laser tag.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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