someone get that fucking seahorse.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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