oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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