I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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