What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
