youre lurking in front of me
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We need to get me chipped asap
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
