Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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