I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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